The would-be Dads

When we first lost our pregnancy, our families and friends were very supportive.   It wasn't unusual for someone to reach out to me and ask how I was doing.   This was definitely more so, after my EP rupture and surgery.  It wasn't about losing a baby, after that, to most people.  It was more about how dangerous that experience was for me and how things could have gone.   *knock on wood*

But, I never really felt like Jeff was included in all of that support.    He suffered a great loss too.

I may have had the physical scars, but we BOTH had the emotional ones.  I didn't feel like others felt that.     It was hard for BOTH of us.      I don't think he even thought about it until I mentioned it one night; the fact that so few people acknowledged his hurt.  One of my Instagram gals, who'd gone through a loss as well, posted a beautiful poem about that exact topic.     

Jeff and I went through and continue to go through this TOGETHER.   We cry together and talk about it.   It's not "over" for us.   We didn't just "let it go", as some people have suggested.

Sometimes, he is is the one who brings it up and he has no problem showing his emotions.  There are times that he cries, at the simplest mention of it.   

We're both eager to conceive again and be the parents that we've dreamed of being.   We're not "ok", yet.    It hasn't even been a year, but who's to say that it will be easier then?
I just wanted to share this poem today, in case you are here and you have a husband/boyfriend/partner who, with you, has also experienced the loss.